Something that upsets me is when people assume that I have an amazing, happy life. People think I can’t understand struggles and problems. But darkness in life is something I know all too well. I have messed up. I have hurt others and myself. I’ve made choices that forever will haunt me. I am definitely not perfect.
I’m often viewed as the “innocent Church girl.” And sometimes I wish I was. There are things I wish I never experienced or knew about. There is a darkness in my past that haunts my present. Things that have been forgiven, but I still live with the consequences of them. But thank God I don’t have to go through these things alone. And lately He has been writing in my life a chapter of hope and healing.
This New Year I hope to become the person I always wished I could be. I hope to be able to start living out my dreams. To no longer worry about what others think or expect of me. To fully rely on God to guide and protect me. To be the only one I long to please. No matter how anti-cultural my dreams are, or how hopeless my dreams are, or how I could “do so much more” with my life, I want to fully embrace God’s dream for me.